Babywearing photo session…7 months

Hey all! Long time no update! My baby is almost 8 months old (already!). Last weekend we had a family photo session at the pumpkin patch. Our photographer is a member of the regional babywearing group so a bunch of us met there and she took photos with us wearing our little ones and breastfeeding.
It was lovely.
Bax is a happy go getter who thinks he should be able to walk already. He has one bottom tooth and another on the way, and he babbles constantly so we’ve been joking that he is Sunny Baudelaire.
He loves animals and Bup and daddy, but lately I am his one true love, and if I’m home, I had better be holding him.
In other news, work is crazy and stressful as we try to get a new building. Trying to stay balanced has been challenging and my house is therefore a mess. But that’s ok.
We are cloth diapering with this baby and I am getting a little obsessed with how cute they are. But also a bit more laundry.
Any of you cd’ing? What’s your favorite? And babywearing? How do you like to carry? I WANT to wrap, but I have no luck back wrapping at all. So we like the ergo and ring slings.


4 months! And who’s a terrible blogger?!


You guys! Listen! My baby sat up by himself today! Yes. What the hell? Is the proper response. He took forever to get here. He is my last baby. You would think he’d have the courtesy to stay in each stage just a wee but longer so I could savor them all.
But no. Not this guy. He is jumping and bouncing and raring to walk already! He’s babbling like crazy and grins like a fool whenever I, or Bear, or Bup make eye contact. Not for the camera though!
In other news, life is edging along. Bears cancer is still in remission and it looks like the bone marrow transplant is set for his next recurrence. We have a nice reprieve to enjoy this time, enjoy our family, and…dare I say? Consider a career move? This is of course reliant on having something marvelous come up in the area we’d like to live in, but recently there was a posting I can’t help but consider. It’s out of my league-probably three steps up instead of one, but it’s where we want to be and it sounds like a pretty cool opportunity. So…maybe I’ll apply just to have the experience.
But for now, anyway, we are happy enough here. The house projects are almost all done. Here is our porch-all updated and clean.

And Bup is starting at the (semi) regional Montessori that goes up to 6th grade this fall. He’s super excited about that. Bear has a local job opportunity too. Doesn’t pay very much, but it is convenient and will be no trouble. He also won’t feel tied to it.
So. That’s us in a nutshell. What’s up with you all? ūüėČ


2 months!


Time is whipping past. I knew it would so I’m really trying to soak up this sweet cuddly time.
I am back at work part time for a few weeks before I’m at full time again. So far I’m managing to only work my 20 hours but I can tell my staff want to be able to get things back to normal. I, on the other hand, would love to only work part time from now on. Sadly, not possible, but I can dream.
Baby B is adorable and fat as butter. He is smiling a lot now-mostly at me and Bear but if one of the neighborhood kids pays enough attention to him, he will smile then too. We’ve been reading more and he loves Hooray for Fish for the bright colors and broad outlines. He’s much more interested in mobiles now but not so into toys yet.

I’m really loving that it is FINALLY warming up so we can get outside. I went for a walk/ run with my old running partner yesterday for the first time in almost a year. We walked 1.5 and ran a half mile and I felt like I would die! I guess my body needs some time to get back in the swing of things.
In other news Bup is growing like a weed and like me is ready for summer. Hope all if you are having a happy May so far! I know I don’t post as often but I am thinking about those of you heading into new treatments or finally expecting your own little ones.


1 month old!

So-Here we are, one month gone already! ¬†Baby B is gorgeous and sweet. ¬†He’s starting to be more alert and interested in things around him, including noises–which makes sleep a little harder for all of us. ¬†Generally, he sleeps 2-3 hours at a stretch with one long sleep of 4 hours at best. ¬†He is usually sleeping on me, next to me, in his bouncer or in his swing. ¬†The bassinet is useless. ¬†I’m rereading Weissbluth’s¬†Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child¬†since it helped immensely with sleep training us and Bup 7 years ago. ¬†Sadly, it basically says to suck it up for the first 6-8 weeks so right now it is just review.

In other news, he loves to be held, to bounce and sway and swing.  In fact, he sleeps best in a swing for now, although I plan to begin transitioning him to his crib in the next few weeks when I start back to work part time.  He likes areas of high contrast, so our dark wood ceiling fans against the white ceiling, or the black and white African safari posters we have hanging will hold his attention for minutes at a time.

Breastfeeding is finally improving. ¬†I would say it rarely hurts at all anymore, unless I’m empty and have pissed off my baby shark. ¬†He tends to get a little aggressive then, which is hilarious and terrifying at the same time. ¬†At any rate, he is gaining weight like a champ and was at 12 lbs at his 2 week appointment. ¬†If I put a cloth diaper on him, he doesn’t squeeze into the 0-3 month sizes at all. ¬†Good thing I have drawers full of baby clothes.

Speaking of cloth diapers, that is going so-so. ¬†I’d say we use them 1/4 to 1/3 of the time. ¬†I only have 6 covers that fit him (Thirsties brand for those wondering) but have around 18 cloth inserts. ¬†I found buying the supplies for this confusing at first. ¬†I also have four of the g-diapers covers and two boxes of their disposable/ biodegradable inserts. ¬†I liked the idea of this, but they leave a weird jellied ball substance on his skin when they get really wet, so I haven’t used them as much. ¬†My main complaint with the cloth diapers so far is just the complication of putting them together and getting them on. ¬†Not bad in the daytime, but in the middle of the night, when he’s pooped for the third time in 40 minutes and I’m trying to be quick and quiet, they kind of suck. ¬†So, at night we use disposables, or if the covers are all dirty, or if his outfit will fit better over a disposable…Maybe I will like it better when he is a little older and pooping more regularly/ solidly. ¬†I don’t mind the cleaning of them or any of that, which is what I thought would be the biggest pain.

What else…? ¬†Well, Bup is still doing well with his big brother role. ¬†He mostly acts as a fetcher for me, but will also read to Bax or talk to him, show him toys and that kind of thing. ¬†We are all looking forward to the next stage of social smiles and chatter. ¬†But for now we are loving snuggling this one.





For some reason, I believed that having another child would dilute my anxiety for Bup’s well being. I thought a second child would force me to relax a little, and by extension I would be a better mother to both.
It turns out that anxiety, like love, can expand and grow with the addition of a new baby.
Instead of relaxing, I find I can torture myself late at night with thoughts of losing Bear to his cancer and bring alone with two boys. Or a gunman taking out Bup’s school. Or SIDS taking this new light out of our lives.
It doesn’t take long in the dark for these dark thoughts to occupy me, because why shouldn’t those things happen to us. If anything, cancer and infertility teaches us that shit happens to anyone. Nobody is immune to tragedy. Why should we get to have every good thing we’ve ever wanted?
In the morning I will remember that the world is mostly good. That for now, my husband and boys are healthy and happy. And that and the sun will be good enough to beat back the fear for awhile.